Hungry?

While I sit here considering which paint colour to put on my walls, a mother half a world away considers which child she will have to leave behind in order to get the rest of her family the life saving sustenance they desperately need. She walks barefoot across hot sand for a hundreds of kilometres to carry her babes to safety, I try to decide which pair of shoes would look best with my outfit. I choose from the bounty of fresh produce in my garden, she no longer has the strength to nurse her own infant.

This is the world we live in. The famine in East Africa is estimated to have claimed over a million lives while we sit here overstuffing ourselves with entertainment, food, possessions. It is so much more comfortable to ignore this sickening reality but is ignorance really bliss? For me the answer is no. Opening my eyes has caused me to look for answers and try to think of a way that I could possibly make a difference to this woman I have never met. Should we send money, sponsor a child, join a relief effort? What can my family do to ease the pain and injustice of our unmet brothers and sisters? I am left with more questions than answers. With a lump in my throat  I open my bible and pray. Our world is a broken place and only Jesus holds the answers.

Pretending we are 19 again

Is it really almost half our lifetime ago that my hubby and I were 19? Dating, going to school, fewer bills, fewer responsibilities. Yep, that was more than a couple of years ago. Yesterday we were kid free (thanks to Omi and Opa) so we got to hang out like we used to. We went for a run, relaxed and then enjoyed supper with just the 2 of us. It is fun to laugh and be silly together and not worry about what the clock says. Although in the good old days we didn't have to think about farm chores before bed or whether our daughter would be able to sleep without her blankie (oops), we also didn't have the depth of experience that we do now after over 15 years together. I can only imagine what intimacy exists in marriages of 50, 60 or even 70 years; the trust, forgiveness, commitment and faith required to hold on through the ups and downs of life. Thankfully we cling to a cord of three strands.

Patience

I think that most people would agree that patience is a good, desirable character trait. Who doesn't love to deal with patient people at work, at the grocery store, in traffic, at home? How many of us haven't said to ourselves or repented to God that we were impatient at some point? I know that I can sure use more of it but I wish that it would just sprinkle down on me like a refreshing rain. Or, better yet, how about some patience in my morning cup of java? Nice and easy, not too messy, no effort involved.

Back to reality. Patience doesn't come in pill form or as a flavour of ice cream. It is learned through life, experience and prayer. It doesn't just happen, it is learned. Darn.

Loving and parenting my kids has be a particularly rich lesson in patience lately. Our energetic, strong-willed children have kept me walking in prayer! They have had their fair share of meltdowns, arguements and complaints this week. So, I have been forced to learn patience. Although I sometimes wish I could just have well behaved children that never fight or complain, I know that God teaches us through life. Todays lesson involved a family geo caching walk through some nearby trails. My husbands idea sounded like a great way to get out for a walk and have fun treasure hunting together. Instead, C, G and S spent a large part of the time arguing over who would hold the GPS. The rest of the time there was a lot of "I'm smokin' hot", "I forgot to wear socks and now I have blisters", "my legs are tired", "I'm hungry", "carry me", "it's my turn to choose the treasure from the cache", "this isn't fair" etc. Fortunately J was in the backpack so didn't get in on much of the action. Our 13 year old arthritis ridden, short of breath old lab also decided to follow us. The kids were worried that he wouldn't make it home and constantly voiced their concerns.

How do I choose to respond in these situations? I can either wish that it was different or embrace the fact that God has blessed us with beautiful children that He uses to shape us more and more into the image of Christ. Thank you Lord that you have allowed me to learn through the gift of motherhood.

We finished it!

I have to confess that I have many almost but not quite finished projects so it sure feels good to do something start to finish. In this case, I am talking about painting our barn. Thanks to helpful Grandparents, some great teamwork and an awesome paint sprayer we were able to get the whole project finished in a day and a half. Yah! Now at least when the rest of my house looks like a tornado hit it I can look out the window and enjoy a freshly painted barn!


As I was feeling so good about this finished project I got to thinking about why I put so much value in getting "stuff" done. I know that my worth is not in what I do but in who I am in Christ. Maybe it is because as a stay at home mom it is easy to feel like you are constantly chasing in circles after laundry, meals and cleaning while trying to look at the bigger picture of raising little ones that love Jesus and long to know Him more. It can feel like an overwhelming task at times. Thankfully God is full of grace! I try to remember that the process is more important that the product and that there is joy in the journey not just in the destination. It is good to keep goals in mind but it isn't always a straight road to reach them. I often find that God actually takes me on a completely different path than I would have chosen. He reminds me of where my priorities should be and that He is the perfecter and finisher. I guess my view of the nice red barn should be a reminder of this truth as opposed to a stroking of my own ego feathers. 

life together

For some people, living next door to their family would be a nightmare. I will agree that living next to certain family members wouldn't be my top choice. However, I am blessed to have my sister, brother-in-law and their 2 children living on the same property as us. I love the sense of community and shared experience that we have on our farm. Having to cooperate and communicate with another family stretches and shapes you in so many wonderful ways. It forces you to consider others before making decisions and to see things from a different perspective. It also reveals your own rough edges- something that can be humbling but character building. I have had to get over the fact that my house is rarely clean and tidy, that my dishes and laundry are never finished or that my children (or myself) don't always behave "appropriately". It has taught me forgiveness, graciousness and to keep my eyes on God as the redeemer, hope and source of true joy.

Our latest adventures together include raising 150 chicks and 5 pigs. Add this to the 5 sheep, 4 goats, horse, laying hens, garden, dogs and kids and it is often chaos but always a place full of life and learning.

What's the goal here?

Since summer hasn't arrived here yet, I am trying to seize the opportunity to get organized (organized is maybe to strong of a word) in our school room. We will have 3 kiddos homeschooling in the fall so our school room needed some tweaking. Fresh paint and more bookshelves have really brightened up the space. It has also given me time to reflect on what my overall goals are for our family and for each child this upcoming year. A very wise woman has encouraged me to always have goals in mind when parenting and planning school for my children. If you start with goals it is easier to decide how to structure your time, what issues are worth focusing on and, most importantly, how to pray for your children and family. I find that having the goal of raising children that love the Lord and put their worth in Him has helped me to decide what is worth our time and effort and what needs to be put on the back burner until another season. Hopefully today I will find the time to write down a couple of goals for myself and for C, G, S and J and then I can start to brainstorm ways to reach them. Now that I have officially written down that my goal for the day is to establish goals, I guess I better not get sidetracked puttering in the garden or making a mess in the kitchen. Darn, I hate making things so official.

being a mama

Who could ask for a greater privilege than to be given the gift of children? I love my kids- they make me laugh, teach me patience and bring joy to our home. In the chaos of life it is easy to forget that we aren't the author of our lives and that only a split second separates this life from eternity. Last week one of our little ones choked on nuts and needed to be flown to the Children's Hospital for a bronchoscopy to remove the pieces from his lungs. Experiences like that hammer home the reality that life is fragile. Thankfully, the Lord protected him and he is now back to running around and getting into mischief with his cousins and siblings. It has shaken me though and brought me back to those core questions of 1) what is my real goal as a mom and 2) what is God's will and purpose for me. I have many thoughts about this and could spend days writing about what I feel He is teaching me. However, I know that the most important thing I am called to do as a mother is to raise my children to love Jesus and live in a way honours Him. Over the next several posts I hope to dig a bit deeper into the "how" of this.

wow- i just created my own blog!

So I guess that I am now an official blogger. Why start a blog? I have been encouraged lately by reading other women's blogs and believe that God calls us to teach and encourage one another. Additionally, we have had many people jokingly (or not) tell us that we could have a reality TV show based on our life at our little farm. I hope that this will be a place to share stories and discuss homeschooling, parenting and life  as i seek to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I am not a writer or a particularly eloquent speaker but i desire to know Him more and to learn from others on our journey as we press on.